“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the
highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”~ John F. Kennedy
The connection between words & actions… May 27, 2008
When I grow up…. May 14, 2008
….I want to be either a princess or a baseball player.
That was true at age 6 and to some extent remains true today. What is ironic is that I still don’t truly know what I want to be when I grow up. It seems like such a simple question – I know that I want to be happy, I want to be a good parent and a good partner, I want to be kind and giving and respectful. I want to be creative and inspired. I know that I want to have enough to not be worried about money all the time and to support those I care about if they need help. Those are the easy parts….
When I think about it in terms of a career I have a harder time with the question. I want to be a writer, I want to share my passion, I want to talk about sports, I want to spend time with others, I want to help people, I want to be creative and I want to help people find their voice and use it to share their stories and inspire others.
In a perfect world, I would teach at the college level – sharing my passion for women’s issues, spending time in enriching, education environments, using my degree, being inspired AND I would write about whatever strikes my fancy – baseball, soap operas, pilates, love, friendship, overcoming obstacles – my characters could be eclectic, creative and fascinating.
Here is where my frustration lies – how do you force yourself to make time to make things happen. I have to work full time (usually even more than that!), I have family obligations, I like my free time and my time with friends and loved ones. So, I ask you — at the end of a day, week, month where do I find time to write, where do I find the money to get even more education if necessary, where do I prioritize these things so that I don’t lose myself, my time with loved ones, and my sanity!
Wisdom would be welcome! 🙂
The power of love & the power of words… May 13, 2008
I had the pleasure of being in a beautiful wedding this weekend. One of my very best friends got married to a wonderful man and it was quite the honor to be part of their special day.
I am not very religious but I do have faith and there are things I strongly believe in including the power of love and the power of words. The ceremony part of my friends wedding illustrated why these things are so incredibly important.
The minister that married my friends had dinner with them a few weeks before the ceremony and asked them each to email him the reasons they loved each other and why they wanted to marry each other. He also asked them to share a dream of the others that they would help to support. The minister then turned their answers into his sermon. It was truly incredible to watch these people so very much in love hear the words that the other had written for the first time. There were very few dry eyes in the place!
The sermon itself was beautiful but what I found even more incredible was the power of the words the bride and groom had written. I found myself thinking about the people that I love and how hard it can be to articulate emotions. It made me realize how important it is to find a way to put love, friendship, family bonds, etc. into words because people deserve to hear them and be moved by them.
The bride and groom smiled all weekend — the wedding was everything they wanted but more importantly they wanted the same thing from their relationship, their marriage and their future. It was an incredible thing to be a part of and an amazing love to get to share.
My personal list of Do’s & Don’ts…. May 7, 2008
“ Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from
themselves. ”- James M. Barrie
- Do believe in yourself.
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
- Do apologize when you hurt someone’s feelings or do something wrong and Do mean it.
- Do open your heart and love freely.
- Don’t take people for granted.
- Do stand up for yourself and fight for what you believe in – even when it isn’t easy.
- Don’t let people tell you that you aren’t good enough, smart enough, strong enough, beautiful enough, rich enough, etc.
- Do treat others with respect. (Do recognize that not everyone will always deserve it but be the kinder person and attempt to always treat people with fairness.)
- Don’t let people walk all over you or take advantage of you.
- Do take time out for the things that make you happy – pedicures, hot baths, good books, episodes of General Hospital, new flip flops….
- Don’t talk badly about others – it will always come back to hurt you.
- Do believe in the power of something – whether it be feminism, pilates, karma, chocolate or something totally and uniquely yours.
- Don’t let anyone else tell you what you have to believe in.
- Do be creative.
- Don’t let people or obstacles stand in the way of your dreams.
- Do find your passion – whether it be easily defined or more abstract. Find something you feel connected to and let yourself be moved by it and inspired.
The things that stress me… May 2, 2008
I’d admit it, I am feeling a bit stressed this week. Not really bad or unhappy stressed but more like not enough hours in the day, too much to do, not enough time/money to accomplish it all overwhelmed. So, I am going to attempt to destress myself by verbalizing the things that stress me.
I read an article not all that long ago in Self Magazine about getting rid of the things in life that stress you — the people who make your life unhappy vs. happy, the friends that use you instead of being true to you, the job that makes you want to pull your hair out, the routines that put you to sleep, etc. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy?
Let’s think — I’d love to say to a few friends “You make me crazy – you are inconsistent, insensitive and uncaring. I don’t enjoy spending time with you anymore and I hate having the same conversations over and over again about things that happened 10 years ago. I hate listening to you badmouth others for no reason other than that you haven’t outgrown high school. Now, please go away!” However, I can’t do that. I compromise instead — I spend less time with these people yet still feel compelled to at least try to make an appearance at birthday parties (children’s events included), religious celebrations (ironic since I am pretty agnostic), sporting events, milestone occasions, etc. and fill my calendar with things I don’t want to do thereby taking away from the things I do want to spend time doing. The push and pull between my desire to be a good person/friend and my desire to get rid of some of this unpleasantness stresses me.
I’d love to sing the lyrics from “Something More” by Sugarland to my boss. (On a side note, wouldn’t we all love to be able to figure out exactly what we want to be when we grow up? Is princess still an option?! I sense another blog topic brewing!) I’d love to be able to go to work, do the parts of my job that I enjoy, spend time being creative and engaged with youth and with the community and then go home. I do not like the crazy hours, the endless headbutting with my boss over control, the “we’ve always done it this way so we should continue” to do so for all eternity even though that doesn’t work. I do not like the lack of support or appreciation. My hopes for continued success in my job despite the banging my head against the wall frustration of my daily routine stresses me.
I’d love to tell the insurance company, painters, flooring people and sheet rock hangers that have been working on my house since our water heater exploded on April 1st that I respect their other jobs and time constraints but I have been living with a cement floor, a missing ceiling and three missing walls for more than a month. It isn’t technically their fault that my house is in chaos but their lack of empathy stresses me.
My grandmother always asks people who look sad “who plucked your cake?” — I think this is a funny saying. I am realizing that my blog today makes it sound like my cake is plucked. Perhaps it is just a big undercooked. Nothing a good nap, sunshine and a finished living room wouldn’t cure. However, I decided to write today because I think it is important to vent about the things that make us crazy or else what do we do with that negative energy? Seeing my frustrations listed in front of me reminds me of that old saying “you can’t control what others do but you can control your own actions”.
So, regardless of what else comes up and no matter what else is asked of me in the next 48 hours or so — my weekend will include a hot bath, a few hours with a good book, a walk with my dog, pilates and some quality time with my boyfriend. I will commit to making these things happen because I deserve it! What types of things help you to destress? Whatever it is, make it happen – you deserve it too!